I have a history at being really, really uncrafty. I love the idea of being crafty. To have a house that is tastefully decorated in things that I made is my dream. The really unfortunate part is that I suck. I suck hard at being crafty. I tried cross-stitch, but I forgot to count. I tried embroidery but it looked horrendous. I would love to paint or draw, but I know my limits. I am honestly and truly surprised I knit, and that I’m any good at it. That right there should tell me to stop while I’m ahead.
So I’ve mentioned before that we repainted our house. I’m finally getting around to picking out things to hang on my walls. One of the more important rooms (to me at least) is my home office. I want it to be a functional space. I desperately need to get some of the clutter off my desk, and my idea is to have a message board system. Cork board to tack things onto, white board to leave myself notes or to-do lists. I also love the functional beauty of French message boards.
I had a hell of a time finding one at a store, so of course my lame brain thought “JUST MAKE ONE!” So I googled, and found instructions. Easy enough.
I know you know where this is going.
So I went out and bought the following:
- 2′ x 2′ piece of board (don’t ask what kind. It’s made of wood. I think.)
- package of batting (again, I don’t know this stuff.
- one yard of fabric
- one spool of ribbon
- one set of 5 pearly gray buttons
- glue gun and glue sticks.
- 1 picture hanging kits (hangs 6 fucking French message boards)
Total cost: $27. I probably could have spent less if I just bought one yard of batting instead of the package, I actually owned a glue gun, and realized we own enough things in the house to hang pictures with. Oh well. Live and learn! I do actually own a staple gun. Took me 20 minutes of rummaging through the garage to find it.
Here is everything:

Here is one of my dogs giving me the side eye.

So I stretched the batting over the board. Then I tried to staple it down. Failed miserably. See this:

Yeah, that’s like 8 staples for one side. I eventually took the hammer and hammered down the ones that stuck out just a little bit, and pulled the staples that didn’t even go in. Do not buy a cheap stapler gun.
Okay, batting is down and then I did the same for the fabric.

By this time I was seriously regretting the project. I was pretty much ready to throw in the towel, but I knew if I did my husband would give his disapproving face and be like “you spent $27 just to throw it away.” I wanted to succeed, but holy hell if this wasn’t making my life miserable. I had also bought a bottle of wine and I’m really glad that I did. Add that to your supply list.
By this time, the dog had given up on the side eye and just moved far away into her safe place.

Next was the ribbon. I had previously marked were the middle of each side was (you know 12 inches from each edge). Good call on my part. Pat on the back Meg, pat on the back. I just stapled the ribbon down. Or tried. I was very thankful for my hot glue gun at this point because this shit was not even stapling to the board. Not even a little. So I just hot glue gunned the crap out of the ribbon and then hammered some half in staples to the board. I also stapled on the front where the ribbons crossed. Those surprisingly went in easier than the staples on the back. No one told me that wood had a front and a back. After that, I hot glue gunned some buttons to where the ribbons crossed. That classed it up a whole bunch.
Done.

In my office.

I’ll be honest, I’m pleasantly surprised with my efforts. It doesn’t look half bad. I’m pretty sure I need a show on HGTV now.